Spaghetti!

Note: i found this in my computer the other day... by Johnny. I told him I'd post it to see how many ppl. would comment... If more then 3 ppl. comment I won the bet... guys... you really have to help me here!!
By Uncle Johnny:
Spaghetti (shlurps)

spaghetti the food of gods the rose of blah bla blah cut to the point
spaghetti; good food basicly pasta and tomato sauce
but when Johnny, (me) prepares its like heaven on earth its like all the sensations in one: eating
soo anyways i was cooking spaghetti (really good stuff), soo i have the onions and garlic ready the in blender, the salt, pepper, the secret ingridients and the water, all ready but... theres no bloody tomato!!!
so me (Johnny) had to improvise, so im there making green pasta and.... whuut? theres no mushrooms!!! (JOhnny goes Nuts) WTF...ck!
(note green pasta is not the same with out mushrums besides it adds it an extra mushy sensation to your collection {of sensations} )

mom commes over- "whats up Johnny, whats all the commotion?"
"theres, theres no mushrooms"
mom is like- "and?"
"and? and? what are you talking about?"
"there is plenty of other stuff you can put on it"
mom walks off...
ok no need to panic we can always put other stuff on it right? :D
JOhnny resumes his chores and start to cut other veggies he in fact is so cheerfull he start singing the 'Yellow' song by coldplay:P (just imagine him there singing with a spoon)
(this is totaly unnesesary and has just been added to bother Johnny :D)
he continues and in fact he sings it again and again
till Ester comes in to the kitchen
"whats cookin?" she asks
"spaghetti! yummie right?"
" um...yeah..."
Ester doesn't want to ruin Johnnys day but feels the need to. so out of the blue...
"guess WHAT JOHNNY?!?!"
"whut? oh no, dont tell me..."
"yep, how did you know there was no...?"
"STUPID PASTAAAAAHHH!!!!!"(this is the part were you guys use your imagination and imagine Johnny (me) cursing my touge out at a spoon!! the verry same one he was singing at:P)
"WTF?! we ran out of pasta about a week ago and no one f...ing told me!!!... and me being such an optimist planing my pasta for days :(  arrrhhhggg this makes me want to rip your eyes out im so mad!!"
Ester freaks out and runs for her dear life...
soo in the end i made some weird russian soup that tasted like sh...t if you compare it to the excuisite (and im not even sure thats a word)
pasta i make. oh well wtv like grandpa once said: Johnny go to bed ...

(Endnote:) this has been the drama of the day. For more of these stories please order the full book to my nonexistent email: dramalife@coldmail.com and if you're one of the fist 10 people who call at the number 1-800-LOADS-OF-CRAP for a bonus read-along CD FOR FREE!!