Birhtday thoughts....

I really should be sleeping... I have a long day tomorrow starting at 6, a dog sleep-walking at my feet and a super tired mind that really can't think... I'mma need a monster drink soon! :D... But i have decided to post anyway... cause I think I need to update... and I feel like writing things down... for the record...

I know this is the beginning of the rest of my life, and things will be as i make them... but today some things were just out of my control and that kinda frustrated me. I think I'm some sort of a control freak... or just really grouchy cos I slept 6 hours last night and I've only got 4 and a half to go on tonight... I really hope I don't faint! it should be a bad start to my year. Anyways.
I kinda feel like my time is running short... there's not enough.... I'm 18! I mean... yeah I really can't panic right now, in a state of half-asleep/half-dead.
In the last 2 days I... found out I'm terrified of big cities... and I panicked and I almost died ... and I learnt that some things I just should stop controlling and Let The Lord do his part... and trust him TRUST HIM!!! and just ... be patient and know he has his perfect timing. and one more thing... He knows best!!
Also I wanna thank all the wonderful people who made my birthday amazing... let me say that again... AMAZING!!! you guys totally rock!!!... You have no idea how many times I've been on the verge of tears for no reason today.... all of you made me smile, laugh and (yeah...) cry... in happiness tfor having you here for me! :D (and because you're all so wonderful!) I totally love you!!! like a million! and I'm soo thankful You're in my life!!
I better sleep now... time is going by fast and I won't be able to sleep at all
sincerely my 18th birthday.... BRING IT ON BABY!!!